Noteworthy News in 2000
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Also, read our briefs from other years; CLICK HERE.
Friday, September 22nd, 2000
Chicago's Mayor Richard Daley struck out against a lawsuit filed against the gun industry. Read an article by guest-writer HarryUSA, Judge Trashes Chicago's Gun Lawsuit.
These anti-gun efforts are getting beaten across the country.
Friday, July 28th, 2000
The Democratic Party is clearly using the media to further its own gun-grabbing agenda. The media seems to have forgotten how to practice journalistic integrity by providing information on both sides of the gun issue. Learn the specific details of a recent article to hit the Chicago Sun-Times by reading Small Arms, Big Issues.
Sunday, May 14th, 2000
A group calling for 'sensible gun laws' plans on parading in Washington D.C. today. They are calling the event The Million Mom March. What appears to be a number of women mobilized by a mother who simply couldn't stand the nasty gun lobby and it's terrible influence [read misleading CNN and ABCNEWS articles] is actually something quite different.
This mother and organizer is Donna Dees-Thomases. As reported by The Washington Times [read the article by clicking HERE], Mrs. Dees-Thomases is not what she appears. She was a part-time book publicist for Dan Rather and long-time friend of First Lady Hilary Clinton herself! Is this a coincidence, you ask? It is highly doubtful.
Since the American people were deceptively led to believe that this march was a grassroots campaign by an everyday housewife, how can we trust their objective? With opportunists like these who use horrible events as springboards for political goals, it is not a surprise that gun activists and constitution savvy individuals are opposed to gun-grabbing tactics that infringe on our freedoms.
This indicates that most media sources neither thoroughly follow up stories nor take their duty as reporting news in an unbiased fashion very serious.
Jesus Sightings on Easter!
All around the globe, reports of a glowing image have been noted. This sandal-wearing, stigmata oozing, crown-of-thorns-bearing apparition resembles Jesus and is thought to be his wandering resurrected soul. Some people are speculating that it's a publicity spoof for Easter-sweep ratings.
Jesus of Nazareth
Surprisingly, townsfolk everywhere are taking this shocking surprise visit quite well. This is partly due to Jesus' message, which he shares at great length when cornered by the media. He made the following statements:
He went on to mention that he will make another appearance on the Greek Orthodox Easter, but hoped that one day all churches would adopt the same date for Easter. His algorithm for determining this date involved a groundhog, eight maids-a-milking, something about the moon being in the house of the rat, and the 317th decimal place of the value called pi.
- Microsoft should reconsider its position on its Operating System.
- I wish my dad would have thought of a painless alternative to the crucifixion.
- Yep, dogs do go to Heaven afterall. But pet monkeys will never get in if I have it my way!
- It's been kinda lonely without my prostitute friends.
- Charlton Heston does resemble Moses in real life...I mean death. Ah, you know what I mean, dammit.
- What do you think of atheism now, huh?
- I'm tired of being mistaken for Elvis.
When asked about people from other religions gaining access to Heaven, Jesus snickered and retorted, "You're kidding me, right?"
You guessed it, this news brief was fictitious. Jesus was unavailable for questioning.
Saturday, March 25th, 2000
WARNING: Read this news bulletin before proceding with the March 14th brief.
If you read our last news brief [Tuesday, March 14th, 2000] and found yourself scratching your head, your intelligence has been well crafted. If you read it and laughed, you're on to our tactics! We were trying to demonstrate the value of critical thinking. Now you can believe that or you can believe that either the government or some nasty, stinkin' gremlins got to us. The world may never know.
Tuesday, March 14th, 2000
Government Insider Witnesses Gremlins!
Joe Blow -- this name is being used to protect his true identity due to the his well-connected government position and the nature of this experience -- has gone on record saying that gremlins really do exist! Joe stated, "As a high-ranking, career officer of the Air Force, I can say without doubt that Gremlins really do exist." He went on to mention during a March 13th phone interview that he has captured a sound clip of such a creature.
"When I was flying jets in the Pacific, I wasn't the only airman to witness these terrors. Some of them were playful and harmless but many others were destructive and malicious. I had many close encounters." It was this part of the interview that Joe began to uncontrollably sob.
Earlier today, as was promised, we received a shipment from Joe. It contained a disk that housed a soundfile. To hear this file, click here. We believe that this soundfile is concrete evidence of the existence of gremlins.
Sunday, March 12th, 2000
Pope Makes Historic Pardon Request for Church Sins
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - In one of the most significant acts of his papacy, Pope John Paul sought forgiveness on Sunday for the many past sins of his Church, including its treatment of people of other religions.
"We forgive and we ask for forgiveness," the Pope, wearing the purple vestments of Lenten mourning, said in the homily of a moving and unprecedented ceremony in St Peter's Basilica.
"We ask forgiveness for the divisions among Christians, for the use of violence that some Christians used in the service of the truth and for the behavior of diffidence and hostility sometimes used toward followers of other religions," he said.
The phrase "violence in the service of truth" was an often-used reference to the treatment of heretics during the Inquisition, the Crusades, and forced conversions of native peoples.
"For the role that each one of us has had, with his behavior, in these evils, contributing to a disfigurement of the face of the Church, we humbly ask forgiveness," he said.
Later during the mass held on the Catholic Church's "Day of Forgiveness" for the 2000 Holy Year, the Pope and his top aides were due to ask for forgiveness for specific sins against Jews, women, other Christians, and ethnic groups.
The Pope has said often that Catholics should see the start of the millennium as an ideal opportunity to seek forgiveness for past sins, including those of the Church as a community.
He has called this a necessary "purification of memory" in order for the Church to move forward.
The Pope also said Christians were ready to forgive others for the abuse they suffered over the centuries.
It was the first time in the history of the Catholic Church that one of its leaders has sought such a sweeping forgiveness for its past sins.
Saturday, February 26th, 2000
Colorado Attorney Suing City of Denver for Infringing His Right to Carry
A Denver attorney is suing the city for infringing on his rights to carry a gun. He's sued the city twice on non-gun issues and won both times. Interestingly, he's using the Colorado State Constitution to make his case. Donald Trinen says he'll win. When I spoke with him today, he said, "I love to put the city in check. They get away with way too much. I'm just doing my civic duty." See the story in today's Rocky Mountain News (2/25/00). Any Colorado leadership who'd like to contact him, he's listed in the phone book. His victory will be an interesting one as it will be used to stop many of the anti-self-defense measures now being waged in the Rocky Mountain State.
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